I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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