At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
