so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
