i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
