how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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