My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
