I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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