Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?

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  (617): I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila? http://tfl.nu/4qsv
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.

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  (812): dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere. http://tfl.nu/598l
  Replies (20) Good night (543) Bad night (3863)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency

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  (781): it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency http://tfl.nu/st67
  Replies (20) Good night (3642) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i dont even know how to be here

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  (973): i dont even know how to be here http://tfl.nu/mwy9
  Replies (34) Good night (5413) Bad night (1390) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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  (703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm
  Replies (8) Good night (4133) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.

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  (832): I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers. http://tfl.nu/48lf
  Replies (3) Good night (1954) Bad night (1230) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh Jesus.

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  (219): Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa (708): Oh Jesus. http://tfl.nu/7sg2
  Replies (9) Good night (2388) Bad night (789)
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  (707): View more from California

  They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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  (707): They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR. (705): I NEED to see if his girl has a sister. http://tfl.nu/ou19
  Replies (9) Good night (2634) Bad night (625)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident

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  (506): Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident http://tfl.nu/1apo
  Replies (7) Good night (1376) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

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  (503): Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in. http://tfl.nu/17i8
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.

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  (619): That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions. http://tfl.nu/77kt
  Replies (2) Good night (1290) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.

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  (612): I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head. http://tfl.nu/qs4d
  Replies (26) Good night (600) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  How on earth did you break your wrist?

  (1-530): View more from California

  I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing

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  (530): How on earth did you break your wrist? (1-530): I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing http://tfl.nu/cks1
  Replies (2) Good night (1430) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..

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  (814): My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime.. http://tfl.nu/op0p
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.

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  (319): I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party. http://tfl.nu/7y6s
  Replies (3) Good night (182) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt

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