she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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