Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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