Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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