so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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