he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
