My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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