She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
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If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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