cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
