i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
