Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
