Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You're a waste of cheezeits
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
