Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
