Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
