This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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