you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
