I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize