i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize