If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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