We're facebook friends in real life
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize