I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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