Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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