I haven't been this sober since birth.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
