i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize