Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize