The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
