I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
