sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
