If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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