I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
