dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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