i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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