marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
