Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
