The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
