Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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