last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
