you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
