youre lurking in front of me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
