I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
