marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize