He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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