About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
