cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
