Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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