I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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