Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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