i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I haven't been this sober since birth.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
