Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she told me i tasted like america
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
