Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
