hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Come on in and take your pants off
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